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I'm a smaller-than- average spleen but I try hard anyway.
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Largest spider I ever saw

I am a true arachnophobe. I will jeopardize my own health to get away from a spider. The faster they are, the worse it is. The night I saw this monster (a "rapid wolf spider" and "rapid" here is actually part of its name but no question as to why), I was sick with a high fever and ambled deleriously into the bathroom where I proceeded to simultaneously hit the ceiling and hemmorhage my uvula.

Dan came to the rescue. He has designated spider-removal duty in our house. But instead of removing it right away, he spent about an hour photographing it, and then posted it as his computer wallpaper. He has two monitors so a quarter of the room screamed the presence of the hairy monster and I couldn't check my email for two weeks. (He has even more spider photos online.)