Lessons on teeth

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Lessons on teeth

Yesterday I went to the dentist for a tooth that hurt whenever I bit down. I thought maybe I had a cavity but it turns out my upper teeth are super sharp, like shark teeth, and they were wearing down my lower teeth. The dentist said she should fix this by smoothing the jagged edges of my top molars.

"Smoothing," she said, "can be done without anesthesia."

Note: Whenever someone enters your mouth with a drill, you should not be able to feel anything on that side of your face.

She tried to reassure me that she would be gentle and that she was working very "conservatively." Then she pressed the drill lightly against the first tooth, sending a jolt of pain through it.

Mercifully, she noticed I almost swallowed my tongue and immediately stopped.

"Mmm, ok. We'll use a little anesthetic to dull the sensation," she said.

Note: dental pain should not be "dulled." It needs to be "slain."

She reentered my mouth with the drill causing another jolt. I involuntarily ripped her hands out of my mouth in an unplanned mammalian survival instinct move that I didn't even realize existed in my normally reserved and methodical brain.

Note: If you can move your tongue, you're not numb enough. Your face has to be, as Bill Cosby said, sliding off your skull.

"Hmmm," she said, "maybe we need some more anesthetic."

Despite the booster dose, another round led to more pain: another lightning bolt seered down my spine threatening to separate my spinal column in two. I think the nerve was already so irritated that the slightest touch now activated severe pain.

Note: If they have NOT numbed the area sufficiently, I don't care if they only intend to "gently smooth" your teeth. Teeth are as hard as diamonds and filing involves a drill. See previous note.

After one more small incident where I (accidently) bit her, I noticed with detached curiosity the onset of a panic attack but luckily she realized that things needed to be completely numb before a total freakout ensued.

She injected a full dose of anesthetic, waiting for it to "take" while I finished 2 full magazines. It took alright. My face fell off my skull and I was happily pain-free for the rest of the procedure. It wasn't until midnight that I could speak like I wasn't brain-damaged but painless dentistry is awesome. I would let my teeth fall out of my head before I ever subjected myself to drilling without anesthetic again.

So in the interest of turning a traumatic experience into something useful, I am including ways you can protect your teeth and hopefully avoid any dental work that's not routine. Aside from demanding full and complete anesthetic if you know a drill is going to enter your mouth, here are additional tips for healthy teeth.

Keeping your teeth in top shape:

1: Get (and maintain!) sealants. They minimize wear and tear and even cavities. Get them even if insurance doesn't cover it -- they're not that expensive and will make your teeth last longer.

2: Use a flouride rinse. Flouride rinses are the only thing that actually help your teeth remineralize and can actually repair small cavities. Don't eat for 30 minutes after gargling.

When I first moved to Maryland, I got cavities for the first time in decades all because I started using a water filter that was straining out all the flouride. My dentist explained this and then recommended the rinse. No new cavities since, in about a decade. Mouthwashes are different than fluoride rinses; be sure you get the right thing.

3: Floss. Every day. A woven floss is better than waxed or teflon floss; my dentist says it's the difference between cleaning your kitchen counter with saran wrap vs. a sponge -- the woven stuff is more pliable and cleans more completely.

4: Do not chew ice. You may be able to see cracks in your teeth, hairline fractures from years of abuse with a flashlight. This is depressing, but not necessarily a problem, just don't keep pushing your luck. Don't chew on hard objects like ice, pens or pencils, hard candy, clothing tags, your nails, or anything brittle. My dentist said that's the number one reason people crack teeth. Same goes for animals too -- it's not a great idea to let them chew on ice.

It's also not great to clench your jaw or grind your teeth -- if you do, see your dentist for a mouth guard or advice on behavioral training or stress reduction.

5: Get an electric toothbrush. It's not just hype. After this incident, I went a YEAR without setting foot in the dentist's office because I was too traumatized to even think of getting back in that chair. When I finally made myself go, I thought my teeth would be in terrible shape but they weren't. I was told they looked like I'd just had a cleaning. All hail the electric toothbrush.

Brand doesn't matter but quality does. Buy a professional electric toothbrush, not the cheap supermarket kind for under $20. A good electric toothbrush will likely cost $60-$80, although if you are strapped for cash, the cheapie powered toothbrushes are probably better than nothing. Don't brush too hard because that'll make your gums recede. It actually takes very little force to get plaque off; you don't have to jam the toothbrush against your teeth and saw back and forth. Be gentle on your teeth and they'll be good to you back for years to come!

6. Ask for a "cervical collar" lead apron at the dentist next time you get an x-ray. X-ray exposure to your tissues is cumulative and it's good to have this special apron to protect your thyroid. I don't know why it's not mandatory to give every patient this or why you have to ask but it seems like a good idea.

I hope this helps your teeth live long and active lives, and may you never need your teeth "smoothed"!

(Oct. 2006)